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Go hug your buddies – NOW!

September 2, 2010

I went back to my secondary school to watch the nomination for the Student Council yesterday morning. It was contentment that I felt when I saw all those familiar faces around me and upstage. But a friend brought me bad news. She had a fight with friend B back in Form 5, and since now we’re all in university, she thought maybe they could at least be hi-bye friends again. A few attempts of trying to start a conversation with friend B later, she found out that friend B wasn’t ready to forget whatever happened between them. They haven’t spoken to each other in nearly three years, and now a decision made by one of them had really got their friendship blown off.

A recent cold war with my BFF in addition to what happened yesterday , I started to think: how fragile can friendship be? Really fragile, when neither one of the two wants to put effort in upholding it;  less so, if at least one of them treasures it. I’ve met a lot of new friends in all the orientation activities, and what after adding them to my Facebook friend list? There were actually half of them who would still stop and talk or at least say hi to me when we bumped into each other at school. The other half, you say? Well, you know how it feels when you ran into your P4 best friend on the street, whom you have never spoken to since P4? Look elsewhere – anywhere but that person – and pretend like you didn’t see her, you get the drill. That’s pretty much the case for rest of the half.

It’s been a week before I decided to send my BFF the longest inbox message on the planet. I thought about giving her time after the breakout of our first cold war in years, since she is an emotional person, and time is what she usually needs to get better. But then I thought, what if the recovering took her months and we still couldn’t go back to how we were before she went back to Australia? I so desperately need her in my life and I couldn’t watch this friendship end because neither of us wants to put our pride down. Self esteem doesn’t really matter when it comes to BFFs.

What I’m trying to say is, ask yourself before you really give up on a friend. In fact, it’s is better if you never give up on your friends, because it is true what the adults always say, that it’s not at all easy to make friends who could listen to you babble all you want about your recent encounters, to whom you could talk to without the fear of being despised, and with whom you could just be yourself and not care about what other people think because that’s who you always are to them. I’m willing to bet, that these friends are those from your secondary school life. Of course quarrels and fights do happen, but please do not give up easily. That saying of ‘treasure what you have now before it’s too late’ may be cliche to you, but it’s irrefutably true.

Samantha Chan, 19, is a fresh graduate from Marymount Secondary School. When she’s not reading or writing, Samantha is watching movies. She dreams to work for the film industry one day. Her column Bite of Life is inspired by the tiniest bits of joy, laughter, frustration and anger in her life. Samantha hopes her articles will take readers to a calm, peaceful place.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 2, 2010 3:17 pm

    Well said Samantha!

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