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Going towards others

January 27, 2011

I was telling my teammates about the Joint-Society New Year Party that we will be having, either this or next Friday, when we got into this discussion on whether we should go build up connection with people from outside of our own society. My argument is that it is always good to know as many people as possible, while some of them might not be as friendly as we have expected, there will always be some, be it the minority, with whom you could hang out. Wouldn’t it be great if you always have someone to attend classes and have lunch with?

Whereas their argument is simple: they don’t really mind being alone. They’d rather be alone than put in so much effort to get to know a whole new bunch of people that they might not even end up liking.

Then it was interrupted and none of us thought to bring it up again. I did a little bit of thinking and brainstorming, then decided to write about it.

Am I afraid of being alone? Is it the underlying and ultimate reason to my argument that I didn’t even realise before they brought it up? My answer was no. And it’s still no. I enjoy both being alone and being among people. I enjoy plugging on my earphones and have them blasting my ears during the numerous bus rides that I’d been going through all my life (not a good habit I know). I enjoy listening to people talk about their lives and even though sometimes they may babble, it’s still a pretty pleasurable and amusing experience. (FYI: my name ‘Samantha’ means ‘a good listener’ so I think I’m born with that trait?)

But then after that initial idea, I remembered what a friend and I had agreed on earlier this month. We are so used to having bus ride journeys all by ourselves that we become a little resistant to someone else walking into our comfort zones. They could even seem like a threat to us, an enemy snapping away our time when we are drowned in deep thinking.

I might sound like one who has multiple personalities, but like they always say, it’s all about balance. As long as I get to keep my own little world with me, I’m all up for having more friends. I didn’t pay my school fees for lonely experiences, did you?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 13, 2011 12:48 am

    In oppose to your friends- I would never limit myself to socializing only with a certain group. Even though you might not end up liking them, who knows how you’d feel about them if you don’t put yourself out there? Sometimes these “ifs” and “buts” really stop us from experiencing more. I think in society circumstances where you are expected to socialize- the foremost thing is to have genuine interest in getting to know others. It will really come through in conversations, whereas people who just socialize for the sake of making connections will ending up sounding stiff and interviewer-versus-interviewee like.
    Regarding being alone… Mm I don’t think it’s something to be afraid of. It is just a preference that alters with time. Sometimes people make alone time for themselves to indulge in spiritual activities like yoga or lie back on a chair to music. Other times, we, human being as social animals need company! It really depends on your mood. Surely, people who claim to hate being alone- once a while prefer to have time to themselves.

  2. Amanda permalink
    January 27, 2011 6:15 pm

    i agree, we all like to be alone sometimes and at other time we like to be around people. i think it’s human instinct to want to have companionship, because a lot of the time to have companionship mean survival.

    i think there’s a subtle difference between being alone and feeling alone, though. being alone can be the physical state of being alone – independence.

    but you can feel alone anywhere, any time, whoever you’re with or not with.

    • January 28, 2011 11:42 am

      True. But some people are more comfortable in society than others. Some have extroverted personalities and other are introverts. Some people recharge their energy when they are with their friends, and some need to be alone to recharge. Which one are you?

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